Losing Breath
by Darker Side of Writing
Summary: More hot tears fell down Kaoru's face as the memories continued to plague his mind. To watch Hikaru in so much pain was far too much. Being a child and seeing that was enough to break Kaoru's spirit. But Hikaru had went through it, how many psychological problems did that leave his brother with? One-Shot


Hikaru silently walked up the stairs, not noticing, or perhaps not caring about, the worried look Kaoru gave him. The only thing in mind his destitution, his and Kaoru's room.

He locked the door. His emotionless facade not faltering as he fell down onto his bed and curled up into a ball, hugging a pillow to his chest. Time did not affect him. He didn't notice as the bright sun of day shifted to an orange color then to the dark blue of the night sky. When the warm air change to cold coming from the open window he didn't reach for a blanket. The temperature change didn't seem to even come to his notice as he continued to stare at the blankness of their tan wall.

No emotions. Hikaru felt hollow.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru banged on the door. He didn't stop until his knuckles began to hurt from knocking so long. "Come on Hika! You already missed supper. The least you could do is open the door and talk to me!"

When he received no answer, the younger twin leaned against the door, letting himself slide down it until he hit the floor. Unlike his brother, Kaoru's emotions easily overfilled as the saltwater tears fell down his cheeks, glistening in the soft light of the hall lamp. It was all too much for him, to see his twin in so much pain. Hikaru was supposed to be the strong one. Hikaru had always been the strong one. Now, watching him so—so emotionless made Kaoru just mad!

"Damn it!" Kaoru slammed his fist into the wall. "Damn it Haruhi! This is your fault!" If it wasn't for Haruhi and wanting to take that stupid psychology class then they would never be in this mess. Hikaru would not be reminded of his tortured memories. It would not have reminded the twins of why their birth father was no longer in the picture.

_**~Losing Breath~**_

Hikaru clutched onto his brother tighter as he slept in peaceful silence. Yet again, something had scared the younger twin and he had come running from his own room to Hikaru's. The older had, of course, welcomed Kaoru with open arms. Hikaru loved Kaoru, probably more than a brother should, and would never deny him.

He closed his amber eyes and let his muscles relax. Hikaru listened to the slow, even breath of his little brother. He smelled the chocolate candy on Kaoru's breath and the sweet scent lavender from their shampoo. Soft skin brushed against his as he ran his hands up and down Kaoru's thin arms, feeling the goosebumps disappear. Hikaru could feel the soft beat of a sleeping heart through two layers of thin silk pajama shirts.

It was all so sweet and innocent. All so beautiful. All of it was simply Kaoru.

At the creaking sound of a door, Hikaru's eyes shot open. Heavy footsteps alerted him of an approaching body. The elder twin pushed his brother to the small gap between the bed and the wall, waking him.

Hikaru motioned for Kaoru to stay silent right before a large hand grabbed his shoulder and slammed him onto his back. This brought him face-to-face with a man that looked so much like himself and his brother. Fear filled his stomach, shooting adrenaline through his veins.

"Which one are you?" The man asked.

"Does—does it matter father?" Hikaru cursed himself for stuttering.

"No." He moved to where either of his hands were on the sides of his son's head, knees on either sides of his body. "Beautiful," he whispered, cupping Hikaru's face. "Young and beautiful."

Hikaru's nails dug through his gold sheets an into the palms of his hands. He bit down on his lip so hard that blood filled his mouth, a salty metallic flavor that left a horrible taste in his throat. He did everything in his power to keep from screaming in agony. Anything that would keep Kaoru silent and stop him from receiving the same faith. Protecting his little brother was the only concern in Hikaru's mind. Even his own well-being took a backseat for Kaoru's.

_'Protecting my brother from this _monster_ is the only thing I could ever do to show him how deep my love for him is,'_ was the last thought that crossed his mind before he lost consciousness from the pain.

_**~Losing Breath~**_

More hot tears fell down Kaoru's face as the memories continued to plague his mind. To watch Hikaru in so much pain was far too much. Being a child and seeing that was enough to break Kaoru's spirit. But Hikaru had went through it, how many psychological problems did that leave his brother with?

An unwilling sob escaped the younger twin's throat as he thought about how stupid he was. After their mother had finally gotten rid of that i_monsteri/_, Kaoru had promised himself he'd always be there for his brother. He'd promised that he would be Hikaru's protector from then on. How could he help Hikaru sort through his emotions if Kaoru did not know his own.

"I should have realized I loved you sooner," the twin sobbed. "I should have realized, all those nights you broke down and sobbed, clinging onto me as if I was a life support, that I loved you. That you loved me and only went through_ ithati/_ to protect me."

Kaoru turned, trying to open the doorknob again. It only jiggled. "Hikaru," he sobbed loudly, hoping to get the other's attention. "Let me in. Let me be your shoulder again. Don't hold this burden on your own!" When his brother didn't answer, Kaoru dropped his head into his arms. "Let me hold this burden up for you!"

Hikaru could hear the sobbing. It was loud. That voice, it wasn't recognizable. The words could be heard, deciphered through the sobs, but that voice. Hikaru couldn't tell who it was and couldn't find himself caring.

Why should he allow someone to carry his problems from him? They were his burdens. He'd made his pains on his own. He'd dug out his new fears in hopes of saving his brother from a faith similar to his. But...Kaoru, did he really save him? These days, Hikaru couldn't find it in himself to even see his brother. _Had Kaoru disappeared?_ Hikaru could always feel Kaoru nearby, but couldn't seem to find him anymore. When he wanted to love his brother, Kaoru was no where to be found.

"Kaoru," he whispered, "Did I save you? Did I show you that I loved you?"

Even then, the tears refused to fall.

* * *

**The main reason I wrote this is for a horror Halloween contest. I wanted to try for psychological horror.**

**The second reason I wrote this is because I wanted Hikaru to be the hero. Everyone always makes Kaoru the hero, sacrificing himself to save his brother. So, Hikaru needs some love. He saved his baby brother in this one. Plus, it also explains why he is so childish and Kaoru is so mature.**

**Finally, This is an AU. Lastly, the first version I wrote of this had fluff. If psychological horror isn't your thing, or you want something lighter, I'll be posting the other on as well. It has a similar plot line(with the exact same flashback) But different modern setting and, as I mentioned, fluff.**


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